Have you ever felt you could not convey your points in a meeting or a conversation and left feeling cheated and hung out to dry?
If yes, you were seduced. You were bulldozed and conversationally seduced into not being able to put up your point or put up your point incorrectly.
“The other” controlled you.” The other” overpowered you.
What exactly happened? Did you get distracted, lost, drowned or just victimized? No, you were allowing “The Other” to control the conversation.
In many conversational instances, you may have to push back, chew your ego or forge ahead.
What is important, is to realize that you have to “manage” your conversation rather than being “seduced”. La Rochefoucauld said, “To listen closely and reply well is the highest perfection we are able to attain in the art of conversation”.
Conversational Control does not mean controlling someone else’s conversation, it is rather controlling your own and in time influencing “The other “in a positive way.
Let me share an example to explain this.
One day, after years of a gap, I sent a message to an old acquaintance, “If you want to know someone’s mind listen to their words, if you want to know their heart, watch their actions.
He replied with the saying “A big person is one who does not make the person sitting next to him feel small”.
I reflected on what had happened.
I realised I was coming with the baggage of anger toward this person. For years he had only sent me generic forwards and never a personalized message. I got seduced into sending the first message.
In response to his reply, I sent a personalized message about his wonderful photos on FB. He reciprocated with the same warmth. I had practised conversational control.
